


Who's in Control, Again?

by DanDog



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Caught!Eruri, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Established Relationship, M/M, Sexual Content, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-19 05:59:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8192881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanDog/pseuds/DanDog
Summary: Erwin and Levi make a risky move, and they must deal with the repercussions together.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> While I'm waiting for ideas for Pilfer of the Heart, I thought writing about my two favorites would help.
> 
> Here you weirdo fans of Eruri go, I guess.

Erwin wasn't entirely sure on how they ended up in his office, half-naked, and ready to have sex.

Honestly, the past thirty minutes were blank in his mind.

Trying to figure out his confusion, though, was rather hard when your needy lover was beneath you.

Levi reminded Erwin of this as he pressed his ass against Erwin's clothed erection.

Erwin moaned, Levi teasing,"Thought that would snap you out of it."

Erwin rolled his eyes, sliding Levi's pants and boxers down in one go.

The shorter man bit his lip, lifting his ass higher.

As Erwin removed his own pants, he murmured,"You know, Levi.. we could get caught for this.."

Levi grinned,"I know, dummy."

Erwin kissed the small of his lover's back,"We could get into so much trouble.."

He went on as he prepared Levi for him,"And in my own office, no less."

When he slid a third finger in, Levi arched his back.

"You're so naughty, Levi," Erwin breathed, mouthing at Levi's balls.

"Erwin!! Just fuck me already!"

Erwin licked the bit of Levi's erection he could from his angle, replying,"I want to savor the moment. Remember when I could hardly fit a single finger in?"

Levi growled,"Dammit, Erwin! Put your cock inside me or I'll walk out of this damn room and----"

Erwin silenced Levi's threat by sliding in in one smooth stroke.

Levi had no words after that.

 

-

Petra had just been returning from a ride with Hange, to make sure the horses were in shape. While she enjoyed hanging out with Hange, she couldn't help but wonder where her Squad Leader was.

She asked Hange about Levi, and they told her he might be with Erwin.

Of course, she thought grumpily as she made her way to Erwin's office, he's always with Erwin. 

"They're nearly inseparable," she murmured as she reached the door.

About to knock, she halted when she heard strange noises emitting from behind the dark wood.

"I want to---" 

 

"---Dammit, Erwin!"

Petra sighed, suspecting the two had gotten into yet another argument.

Her suspicion was denied as she shamefully pressed her ear to the door to catch more of what was being said.

"Fuck, Erwin!"

Instead of the usual biting tone Petra would expect of her Squad Leader, it sounded like begging.

Levi did NOT beg.

"Would you just---"

The rest was muffled, and followed by a deep laugh.

"Did you have to finish---"

"--sorry, Levi, you know you're----"

Petra became frustrated as she couldn't completely hear everything.

A throat cleared near her, and Mike appeared.

Blushing from embarrassment, Petra stood to attention. "Uh.. I was just, um.."

"Make yourself useful somewhere else and I won't ask," Mike proposed. 

Petra took the proposition, hurriedly leaving in a fit of shame.

 

She hoped Mike didn't mention her eavesdropping to the Captain and Commander.

 

-

 

Erwin came too soon for Levi to expect it, and the sensation---while fulfilling---made him agitated. Usually, Erwin could hold out long enough for Levi to orgasm.

Erwin pumped him to completion, though.

After he came down from his high, Levi asked,"Did you have to finish so early, Erwin?"

Erwin kissed him,"I'm sorry, Levi, you know you're just so beautiful like that."

Levi crossed his arms, sitting on his lover in the desk chair.

"Next time I'll fuck you, then," he replied.

Erwin kissed him again,"Not a bad idea."

Levi deepened the kiss, wondering if Erwin was up for another round.

His musings were stopped short by a series of knocks coming from the door.

Levi sighed, and Erwin chuckled.

"Should we pretend we're not here?" He asked the black-haired male.

A voice they knew answered,"That didn't exactly work last time. You guys at least have clothes on, right?"

Levi kissed Erwin quickly, before dressing in his pants.

Erwin followed suit, neither caring to put their shirts back on.

"Come in, Mike," he told his friend.

Mike clicked the door open, surveying the floor.

"You guys made more of a mess than last time," he noted.

Levi ignored the rising blush, biting out,"How about we stop talking about our sex lives and talk about why you're here?"

Mike grinned,"Just got some paperwork for Erwin."

Erwin dragged his hand over his face, ready to release a heavy sigh before Mike added,"Oh, you'll like it, Erwin."

Levi and Erwin exchanged an uneasy glance.

Mike placed the paperwork on his desk. On his way to the door, he called,"Oh, there was that Ral girl trying to listen in on you two, by the way."

Levi tensed, Erwin releasing that sigh when the door closed. "Petra..?" Levi asked.

Erwin gave a half-shrug,"Even if she found out, Levi.. she adores you so much that she'd keep it a secret."

Levi looked to the side,"That's the problem."

Erwin grabbed the paperwork, inquiring,"What is?"

"Imagine how crushed she'd be if she found out we were together," he explained.

When Erwin said nothing in response, Levi continued,"She may tell the higher-ups, and I refuse to fucking lose you."

Erwin pursed his lips in a thin line,"Levi.. come here."

Levi sat down in Erwin's lap, wrapping his arms loosely around the taller man's neck.

"Mike knows, Hange's figuring it out, they'll keep it a secret. I'm sure she can."

Levi shook his head in disagreement,"That's different, Erwin."

The blonde kissed Levi's temple,"How so? Do you not trust her?"

Levi sighed,"It's not that I don't trust her, it's just.. She's young and naive. If she's hurt by us being together, she might do anything to hurt us."

Erwin frowned,"You really believe she'd do something like that?"

Levi kissed Erwin's jaw,"I'm not sure. But I'd rather not take any chances."

"So I guess that means no one can walk in on us? No more office sex?" Erwin asked.

Levi gave him a disapproving look,"Pervert."

Erwin laughed, and they read the paperwork together.

As it turned out, the Survey Corps had a week break for Christmas.

Both men were escastic to hear such news.

Levi stood, gathering up the remainder of his outfit.

"I'm going to shower. Care to join me, Commander?"

Erwin shot Levi a suggestive grin,"Who am I to object?"

-

After their fun in the shower, they relaxed in each other's arms in Erwin's room.

He read a book aloud, and the words grew distant to Levi as he drifted off to sleep.

The last thing he registers is Erwin kissing him and whispering,"Sweet dreams, Levi."

 

-

Erwin woke up with Levi's half of the bed present with the man he loved.

A rarity that Erwin savored.

He kissed Levi's shoulder, and up his neck to his cheek.

Levi laughed,"Erwin, that feels funny."

The blonde man kissed the corner of Levi's mouth, his heart blossoming with love at knowing this side of Levi was exclusive to only him.

"'Morning, Levi," Erwin greeted.

"At least, I think it's morning," he added.

Levi shot him an incredulous look, rolling over to hug Erwin's front.

"I would suck you off, but I'm too tired to move," Levi murmured.

Erwin grinned,"I'm okay with just waking up beside you, Levi."

"The hell you are," he retorted,"You have a high sex drive, you pervert."

Erwin shrugged half-heartedly, neither confirming nor denying Levi's accusation.

"Are we going to stay in bed all day?" Levi asked.

Right after he asked, though, a voice outside the door called,"Commander Erwin!"

Levi's blood turned cold at the recognition he received of who that voice belonged to.

"Squad Leader Hange and Mike wanted me to ask you if you'd like to go out for breakfast this morning! They also said Levi had helped with paperwork yesterday, and accidentally fell asleep in your quarters, so I guess you can ask him when he wakes up," Petra explained.

Levi snuggled closer to Erwin, enjoying the warmth from his skin.

"What do you say, Levi?" Erwin whispered,"Do you want to go out with them?"

Levi's stomach grumbled before he answered,"It couldn't hurt."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keeping a secret has never been a problem for Levi or his lover.
> 
> However, what happens when someone is caught in the middle of that secret?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am wayyyy too obsessed with them.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who, for some strange reason, still reads these weird stories of mine.
> 
> You're even weirder if you read these Notes.
> 
> Anyway, I do appreciate it and don't forget: I do take requests! Don't be afraid to ask in the comments, I don't bite. Only Erwin does, and even then he's biting Levi.
> 
> Wow. That was awful. Anyone still reading this?
> 
> There's no hope for you.
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!

Neither men wore their Wings as they dressed, thinking they could at least have that much freedom.

Levi was currently brushing his teeth in the conjoined bathroom, dressed in a deep blue and brown jacket Hange had given him last year. Hugging his legs firmly were a pair of even deeper blue jeans, his feet covered by a pair of worn-out black boots.

After he was done brushing his teeth, Levi combed out his hair into its usual style.

As he was finishing, Erwin passed by him.

"You look good," he mumbled drowsily.

Levi chuckled at the compliment.

"Glad to you see you find it funny," Erwin said as he reached for the comb.

Levi shrugged,"I do. The Commander of the Survey Corps not being a morning person? That's fucking hilarious."

 

Upon seeing the blonde man ruin that gorgeous hair, Levi snatched the comb from his grasp.

"I'll fix it, Erwin."

Erwin bent down to allow Levi easier access, and the shorter man surveyed his work with satisfaction once he was done.

 

"What do you think?"

Erwin straightened, taking in the usual style he had.

He had actually dressed in a nice red button-down, grey jacket, and dark jeans. Like Levi, he wore slightly worn-out boots.

"That I need to marry you," Erwin answered.

 

He froze. He hadn't meant to say that.

He hadn't meant to say that at all.

 

Instead of the million reactions he expected from Levi, the grey-eyed man just kissed his lips gently. Before he left, he murmured,"Dummy."

 

They made their way down stairs.

 

-

Erwin was glad he wore the jacket, as the air outside grew frigid.

 

When they reached their friends, both were surprised to see Eren Yaeger among the group.

 

"What's the brat doing here?" Levi consequently asked.

Hange launched into an explanation,"His friends were out this morning and he looked so lonely, so I decided to bring him along!"

Levi glanced at Eren again,"You're responsible for him, then."

 

-

They headed to a small restaurant where nobody would really recognize them, with Hange and Petra in the lead.

Mike and Eren made conversation as they walked.

Levi and Erwin brought up the rear of their group, saying nothing as they followed.

 

Halfway there, a group of teenagers passed by. One purposefully bumped into Eren, causing the entire group to halt.

Levi stared the teenager down, until the girl apologized,"I-I'm sorry, i-it was an accident!"

She and her friends left.

 

Erwin and Levi caught Eren and Mike's conversation as they continued to walk,"Do you think he'd accept a thank you?"

Mike shrugged,"Why don't you just tell him?"

 

"I can hear you, brat," Levi commented.

This caused Eren to stutter out a reply,"O-oh! S-sorry, sir! I just..wanted to, um---"

Levi held up a hand, signaling Eren to stop.

Erwin stifled a chuckle, and Levi glanced at him.

"I wouldn't have said anything if the girl bumped into you, jackass," Levi told him.

Erwin laughed at this, since that was quite the opposite of what would occur.

 

He never said so, though, and Levi's fingers brushing his own was enough to let the Commander know he understood.

 

-

The restaurant was what they expected, with it not being too busy or crowded. What's more, was that nobody recognized them as Survey Corps. 

For one day, they could pretend to be citizens.

 

Eren, who was actually dressed in a tan sweater and baggy brown pants, led a ridiculous conversation, in Levi's opinion.

Only half-listening in favor of eating his pancakes, he choked on the food when he heard Eren declare,"I want to get Jean Kirstein a sweater, actually."

Hange cracked up at this, their white button-down crinkling at the force of their laughter.

Even Petra smiled, careful not to spill any syrup of her own onto her rather lovely purple shirt and dark jeans.

 

Before Eren could explain his sudden outburst, an elderly couple approached their table.

They tensed, fearful they'd be recognized and scorned as soldiers.

Instead, what the couple said was much, much worse.

The wife, a nice enough old woman with grey hair she tied back in a bun and a burly coat adorning her shoulders, gestured to Levi and Erwin. 

Sitting across, Hange and Mike held their breath. In the middle of their booth, by the wall, Petra and Eren did the same.

"You two make a very cute couple," she said, her husband nodding in agreement.

 

Once they left, the table settled in an awkward silence.

Fortunately, Petra broke it,"Um, so.. why do you want to get Jean a sweater?"

Eren, half-grinning, answered,"It's more of what's on it that matters."

Hange questioned him now,"What would be on it?"

Eren grinned completely,"A horse."

 

From then on, the rest of breakfast went smoothly.

 

While the others could easily put the strange encounter with the elderly couple behind them, Levi knew Erwin couldn't, if their fingers intertwining under the table when the couple left was enough evidence.

 

Levi didn't want to forget, either.

 

And that definitely scared him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, for anyone who wants to request a fic:
> 
> I'll only accept it if I think I know what I'm doing. Aka, if I think I can do it and not upset your glorious ideas or whatever.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A part of Erwin always knew something like this would happen.
> 
> That, eventually, somebody else would come along and be swept away by his lover's..well, everything.
> 
>  
> 
> He regrets that he wasn't the only one to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so..
> 
> This fic is wrapping up really fast.
> 
> Therefore, if you feel a void left by this one...
> 
> Yeah, I can't exactly fix that. Maybe go to a doctor? Dunno, giant gaps in your chest are pretty unhealthy.
> 
> Does anyone enjoy my half-assed jokes? 
> 
> I bet Jean would.
> 
> Side note: I don't actually know the proper ways to tell if a diamond's real or fake.
> 
> Enjoy!

After their breakfast, the group went out to markets to shop.

While they didn't have much in terms of money, they figured they could find something likeable to buy.

 

Erwin considered that for all the time he stood in front of a glass case.

Interrupting his over thinking was a voice,"The diamonds are lovely."

 

The Commander glanced to his left to see Petra staring fondly at a row of diamond-encrested rings.

 

Erwin hadn't even realized his feet had carried him here.

Upon closer inspection, he told Petra,"Those aren't real, actually."

Petra seemed puzzled,"How can you tell?"

Erwin shrugged,"I read something once about how to tell if diamonds and other jewels are fake. One method is by viewing the setting and mounting. Since the diamond is set in a rather cheap metal, it can't possibly be real. Another way is by breathing on it."

Petra appeared to be taken aback, but smiled politely nevertheless. "I suppose I could get you some books for Christmas, then."

Erwin said nothing to her comment, as he would rather the soldiers save their money.

Before he could say so, Petra was off in Eren's direction.

Turning back to the case, Erwin wasn't nearly as startled the first time around when a voice said,"I like the gold rings."

Erwin allowed himself a small smile at that, since rarely did Levi say he liked materialistic objects.

 

"Hange said they're buying me both a Christmas and birthday present this year. Knowing them, it won't be cheap," Levi said.

 

Erwin brushed his fingers against Levi's,"I'm sure they'll be able to keep track of their money, Levi."

He shrugged,"Doesn't mean I want them getting me anything."

At that comment, he met Erwin's gaze,"That counts for you too, dummy."

 

-

Erwin officially adored the Christmas season, as a local vendor was selling hot chocolate on their way back to the Survey Corps base.

 

Hange and Mike having left earlier, and Eren and Petra having stayed behind in the marketplace, Erwin and Levi were free to speak frankly as they walked alone.

"Maybe I could get you something slutty to wear," Erwin commented offhandedly.

Levi choked on his drink, glaring at his superior.

"Imagine what everyone else would think if they heard the Commander of the Survey Corps say that," he replied after he regained his composure.

"Fair enough," Erwin gave him that,"But..would you be willing to try it?"

"Fuck," Levi spat, adding a minute after,"..Maybe."

 

Erwin entered the base with a wide grin on his lips.

The base was rather quiet when the two men entered, not that either minded.

In a comfortable silence, Levi followed Erwin up the staircase to his Commander's room.

Upon entering, Erwin placed his cup on the dresser before approaching his closet.

Plucking a worn-out book from the top of his closet, the blonde settled down on his bed.

Levi joined him, cuddling close to his chest.

Then, Erwin began to read to Levi.

-

It was so cold outside that her bones froze in the chilly wind.

She tried her best to cast the feeling of potential frostbite aside as she walked.

Eren walked next to her, shivering from the biting wind.

 

"What do you know about Levi's relationship with Erwin?" she asked out of the blue.

Eren, his shivering ceasing only for a moment, answered,"Well..it's a formal relationship, between Commander and Captain. Why?"

Petra gave him a slight shrug,"Just curious is all. Do you know if Levi likes anything in specific?"

Eren's eyebrows furrowed in thought,"Other than cleaning and killing Titans..no, not really."

 

Petra pursed her lips, as that didn't narrow down her choices by much.

That was, until Eren added,"He might like tea."

Petra glanced at him,"Tea?"

Eren nodded,"Sometimes I catch him drinking it when he does paperwork."

The female soldier cocked her head to the side, baffled.

"Really?"

 

At this point, the two arrived back at the base.

"He holds his cups weirdly, though," Eren informed her.

He caught up with Mikasa and Armin, waving back at Petra as he raced to join them.

 

As Petra left to go to the women's barracks, she relayed the information she acquired from the conversation.

 

She knew what she was going to get Levi.

 

She only hoped the present would convey her feelings properly enough. If not, she would simply have to tell him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How much longer can Erwin and Levi last before the truth is revealed?
> 
> And what will they do when it is?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So happy to receive so many kudos!!
> 
> Just one more chapter away from finishing this fic, and I hope those of you who have (for whatever reason) stuck with it enjoy this chapter!

Levi enjoyed listening to Erwin's voice when he read aloud.

Sometimes it would lull him to sleep, other times it would captivate him.

Almost always, though, it would fill him with an emotion he simply couldn't ignore.

The emotion, he knew, was love.

As cliché as the entire notion was, Levi couldn't deny his own feelings.

 

A part of him (the part still conscious) accepted this as he felt Erwin's lips brush his forehead.

"Sleepy?" Erwin murmured, sounding as such himself.

Levi answered quietly,"Just a little.."

Erwin, Levi swore, chuckled.

"We're free to sleep, Levi; we have six more days off."

Levi felt his lover pull the blankets further up them, and the two men fell asleep in a matter of minutes.

 

 

The next few days were filled with lazy conversations, relaxing afternoons, and passionate nights.

 

With only two days until Levi's birthday and Christmas, the two men could be found at a quiet tea shop.

 

This was a shop Levi had wanted to visit for a while, but hadn't due to being so busy.

Now, he was pleased when a waitress brought their teas and complementary cakes.

 

"I see why you wanted to visit, Levi," Erwin admitted, sipping his ginger tea with a matching carrot ginger tea cake.

Levi cut into his own cake, a dark chocolate one complemented by a black tea.

He nodded upon hearing Erwin's comment, taking a bite of his cake.

 

In the middle of eating, Levi questioned,"Erwin, what would you want for Christmas?"

Erwin smiled into his teacup, answering,"For you to be happy, Levi."

Levi rolled his eyes at that,"Seriously, Erwin."

The blonde man sipped his tea, taking his time in replying,"I suppose.. just to be with you as well, Levi. You make this life, for however long we have it, worthwhile."

 

-

Later that afternoon, Hange and Mike had invited the two out for drinks. Both politely declined, and their friends departed without them.

As Levi began to slip off the blue sweater he had worn, he felt a pair of hands brush across his sides.

He smiled, allowing those hands to take the garment the rest of the way off.

Next to join them were a pair of lips, slightly chapped but soft all the same.

Those lips kissed from Levi's neck down to his back, the hands massaging his back gently. 

The tender movements subdued his tense muscles. At his sigh, the hands drifted down to the waistband of his pants.

He felt the lips return, this time to his shoulders.

The hands expertly unbuttoned his pants, sliding them off.

Levi stepped out of them, wearing nothing now but a pair of boxers.

He turned around to face Erwin, ready to give him the same treatment.

He started by kissing down the area of Erwin's neck that was revealed, and then unbuttoned his shirt leisurely.

He nibbled the taller man's collarbone before slipping the shirt off completely.

Pushing the blonde on the bed, Levi sat behind him and began to work on relaxing his superior's own tense muscles.

At a particularly rough spot, Erwin threw his head back. Levi kept massaging that spot, thrilled when Erwin would sigh contently.

Suddenly, the taller man leaned back to press his lips to Levi's.

The kiss lasted until one of them broke off for air.

"Levi," Erwin whispered, stroking the said man's cheek with his thumb.

"What is it?" Levi asked, his gaze dropping down to Erwin's lips.

"I love you," he answered, kissing Levi's face all over.

After the attack of kisses was over, Levi murmured against Erwin's skin,"Do you want to fuck me tonight?"

Erwin grinned,"Actually, Levi.. I wanted you to fuck me."

Levi didn't have any objections to that.

Taking it slowly, Levi slid down Erwin's pants and boxers.

He kissed and licked his lover's cock until it was pulsing with arousal.

Levi kissed up Erwin's stomach to his neck, grabbing the lube.

"I really love you, Erwin," Levi murmured as he slipped one finger in.

"Levi!" Erwin cried out, arching his back.

Levi added a second finger, kissing Erwin's erection. "I don't think I have the words for how extraordinary you are," Levi went on.

Erwin squirmed,"This..is pretty.. uncharacteristic of you, L-Levi.."

Levi licked up the blonde's erection now,"What? I can't compliment the man I love?"

Erwin's reply was a series of gasps, as Levi's added third finger brushed against his prostate. 

"I don't know where I'd be without you, Erwin.."

Levi coated his own erection in a generous amount of lube, before sliding languidly in Erwin.

He gasped at the sensation, setting an easy pace.

"You're such a great leader, Erwin.." Levi went on with each thrust,"I'm so lucky to have you.."

Erwin moved his hips to meet Levi's thrusts, moaning.

"You're more beautiful than you'll ever know," Levi said, his pace quickening.

"I love you so much, you stupid..handsome.." his breath was heavy,"I love you so much."

Erwin's eyes closed as the two reached their peak, climaxing together.

Coming down from their highs, Levi allowed Erwin to rest his blonde-haired head on his pale chest.

"Someday, Levi, I'm going to marry you," he whispered into the quiet room.

Levi ran his fingers through that blonde hair,"I think I'd like that, Erwin."

 

Their peaceful resting was interrupted by a banging on the door.

"Open up!" Hange's voice snapped.

Much to the two men's dismay, they didn't sound very happy.

They dressed quickly in what they'd worn that day, Levi only wanting to get in the shower at that point.

When Erwin opened the door, Levi knew they'd be in for one hell of a lecture.

Hange and Mike met them, their faces lined with fury, among other emotions.

"Let's go down to the Mess Hall; it's empty at this hour, so we can talk there," Hange said, their voice stern and cold.

With them leading the way, Levi and Erwin followed.

 

They entered the vacant Mess Hall, Hange picking them out a table in the corner of the room.

The four sat two across from one another, with Hange and Mike facing Erwin and Levi. 

 

Hange adjusted their glasses, a nervous habit they acquired long ago.

Levi's nerves, too, were acting up.

Erwin must have sensed this, as he clasped his hand in Levi's own.

"What are you doing?" Hange asked, pointedly staring at their intertwined hands as if it was an equation they couldn't solve.

"You know about us," Erwin explained,"I figured we wouldn't have to hide this."

Hange met his eyes,"You're wrong."

Levi, on top of feeling nervous, now felt infuriated.

Hange's next words were calm, but the fire of anger in their eyes betrayed their true emotion,"The first time I heard you two..doing that, I thought maybe I was wrong. I gave you the benefit of a doubt. Then, I kept an eye on you both, as I'm sure you noticed. Anyone who looks for the little things you two do in public can easily see there's something more than mutual friendship and trust there, something more than the professional relationship between Captain and Commander. What I have to know is..why?"

Erwin processed these words, taking a deep breath before explaining,"I.. It's rather hard to get your head around it, but I'll try my best to explain it to you, Hange. I suppose..the fact is that I love Levi. I won't lie to either of you now, because you know so much and because I trust you with my own life."

Hange looked stunned, Mike staying silent.

"Speaking on my part only," Erwin continued,"I fell in love with Levi many years ago. I can only suspect his feelings grew for me around the same time. However, as much as I found myself caring for him, I refused to act on it. Less I ruin humanity's only chance at survival by having our strongest executed for homosexual crimes." 

At the mention of the crimes, Erwin's tone became bitter and resigned.

He went on uninterrupted,"So, I kept my urges and emotions at bay. That is, until a particularly brutal expedition."

Hange's eyes widened,"That one?"

Erwin repeated,"That one. We lost so many men, and I will take full responsibility for that. It was my plan, but none of us could've predicted the outcome."

Levi squeezed Erwin's hand,"It wasn't entirely your fault, dummy."

Erwin didn't acknowledge those words,"I was comforting Levi. And then, it happened. We kissed. That was the beginning of a fully fledged relationship that pushed two years after both of us expected it to."

Hange's wide eyes narrowed,"Two years? Two damn years?!"

Erwin's expression became grim, Levi speaking this time,"It was never intimate. At least, not until the end of the second year. I felt like sleeping with Erwin would---" 

Levi stopped himself, Erwin shooting him an encouraging gaze. Closing his eyes, Levi finished,"I felt like it would..be sealing the deal, in a way. I had him as a Commander, as a friend, as a little more. That scared me."

Hange kept silent, though their expression appeared saddened.

"So, what if I did sleep with him? It's not like I'd done so with anyone before," Levi began to clench his free hand into a fist,"Would it hurt more if I lost him to a Titan? Would it hurt more if he lost me? Would it kill me if he died by the hands of disgusting pigs because those fucking rules say it's wrong?!"

Erwin squeezed his lover's hand now, signaling for Levi to calm himself.

He took a deep breath, exhaling before he spoke,"So.. he managed to counter argue every single doubt I had. Every irrational, logical, ridiculous, shitty doubt. But he still let me have a choice. I knew he wanted to be intimate. I knew it from the moment he told me his feelings, but he also knew I..I thought it would get us in a shit ton of trouble."

Hange's voice was quiet now,"But you did it anyway."

Erwin stepped in,"We did. And I don't regret it, Hange. I won't. Not even when I die. Because living life without Levi is worse than any punishment I could ever receive for being with him."

Mike met Erwin's gaze,"You really believe that, Erwin?"

He stared back into Mike's calculating eyes,"I do. And one day, I'm going to marry Levi. I don't care how long it takes. I don't care about the rules. I will leave him a choice, as I did about being intimate."

Levi laughed at that, a rather breathless sound. "You'd think I'd object, Erwin?"

Much to Levi's amusement, Erwin appeared to be surprised.

"You could get into a lot of trouble," Hange pointed out the obvious. They nodded in understanding.

"Is this what you really want?" They asked in earnest, gesturing between the two in reference to their relationship.

They nodded once more.

"Do you plan on telling the others?" Mike asked.

They exchanged a glance,"Eventually. Only when they're ready."

Hange smiled at Mike, before they replied to Erwin's answer,"Make sure it's before the wedding, then."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The secret is revealed, but neither the Captain nor Commander could anticipate everyone's reactions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big, huge thank you to those of you who read this to the very end!
> 
> I'm so happy to receive so many kudos and hits and awesome comments.
> 
> You've inspired me to finish Coalesce, so keep an eye out for the next update to that fic!

The air was relentless, the wind whipping at the skin of any who dared venture from their comforting homes.

Unlike those who did go outside, however, a certain group of Survey Corps soldiers sat inside their Commander's room.

The fireplace crackled and hissed as it licked its fiery tongue to devour the wood resting inside.

The first sound to break the hissing of the fire was Hange's roar of laughter, caused by Eren's comment,"Jean didn't like his sweater very much.."

Levi glanced at Erwin as he sipped his tea. 

Before he could trace his gaze over Erwin's soft and sharp features, Hange's laugh turned into a startled gasp.

 

"Levi! I didn't know Erwin got you a present!"

Levi frowned. He didn't expect a present, nor did he want one. The more he noticed his friends, though, the more he spotted the gifts in their hands.

His frown grew as they all smiled at him. "Hange told us it was your birthday today, Levi," Eren explained, speaking as though it would justify getting the gifts in the first place.

Levi waved a hand in dismissal,"Take them back; I don't want them."

 

Eren frowned now, Petra looking crestfallen.

Erwin chuckled,"Levi, open the presents. You deserve that much."

Levi's expression became blank once more,"And what about your present?"

Hange answered for the blonde,"We'll get that one later! Open mine first!"

They bounced excitedly from their spot on the floor as Levi tore into the brightly colored wrapping paper.

Hange, it turned out, had given Levi a new pair of cleaning gloves.

Next up was Mike, whom had given Levi a winter coat.

Eren even handed a few over, murmuring they were from his friends and himself.

Levi had more cleaning supplies from the cadets, and actually felt a glimmer of hope for them.

 

Petra presented hers, after Hange politely threw away the wrapping paper.

Levi didn't exactly trust the young woman's hesitance, and when he opened the box she'd given him, he realized he was right not to.

Staring back at him was a simply decorated tea set.

Petra allowed herself a small smile,"Do you..do you like it, Captain?"

Levi exhaled, forcing himself to draw his mind out of the last time he received a tea set.

That was only a few days before his mother died.

 

He nodded, hoping his grey eyes didn't betray the horror he felt inside of repeating the memory of his mother's teacup hitting the floor.

Her body followed after, he reminded himself.

He placed the set gently aside, the memories of pain going with it.

From the corner of his eye, Levi saw Erwin smile. "Well, Levi? Did you enjoy your birthday presents?"

The shorter man rolled his eyes,"Tch. As if you would let me return them."

Petra beamed at him,"That's right, Levi! None of us would let you give them back!"

Levi sighed, muttering,"Thanks, idiots."

 

Hange was bouncing again, their expression too excited.

 

"Levi, you forgot one!"

 

Levi frowned, his playfulness towards his superior now replaced with nervousness.

Hange snatched up the gift Erwin meant to give him, replacing it with a tiny blue box.

"Hange, Erwin's not supposed to open that until tomorrow," Levi reminded them. They didn't care, as they replied,"And you weren't supposed to open your presents, since it's only Christmas Eve. Just open it!"

 

Levi, bitterly resigning to his fate, began to tear into the green paper of his own gift. His nervousness grew to anxiety as he heard Erwin open the gift from him.

 

He cursed the fact he was still friends with Hange, as only they would be the one to pressure the two into something like this.

 

All of his worries halted momentarily as a glint of something shiny caught his gaze.

 

Erwin had given him a gold ring.

 

He had gotten Erwin the same thing.

 

-

 

"What..what is that?" Petra was the first one to speak after a good five minutes of silence.

Hange hissed,"Erwin!"

 

Levi felt his heart flood with emotions, then drop to the pit of his stomach in the span of those five minutes.

 

"Levi..you weren't meant to get that until later," Erwin said sadly.

"I could say the same," Levi replied solemnly.

 

Petra looked far beyond angered,"Levi, Erwin, what's the meaning of all this?!"

Hange and Mike exchanged a worried glance.

 

Petra exploded,"Did you two want to marry each other?!"

 

Neither men answered.

Petra clenched her frail hands into fists her anger growing by the second,"Don't you know it's illegal?!"

Again, they kept quiet.

 

"How--how long have you..?"

 

Her voice broke. That was when Levi stood, going to comfort her.

She wrapped her arms around her middle, looking smaller than she ever had.

 

With a sense of guilt, Levi realized this was not the woman he recruited. This woman had sorrow in her eyes instead of the fiery passion and defiance that was usually there. This woman didn't stand tall in the face of adversity, cowering at the truth instead. This woman was meek, her breathing shallow.

 

This woman was broken.

 

When Levi reached out a hand, she began to shout,"NO! HOW DARE YOU!"

She turned her hurt gaze to Erwin now,"I DIDN'T EVEN---"

 

A sob racked Petra's body, her entire spirit close to shattering.

"I didn't even know," her voice dropped down to a whisper,"Did you ever plan on..?"

 

Her question never ended, but Erwin calmly offered her an answer,"Yes. When we thought you'd be ready."

Petra stared into his gaze, and Levi was sure in that moment she had forgotten about Erwin Smith being a Commander. She forgot about Erwin Smith being a strong man, possibly the strongest she had ever seen. 

 

In fact, Levi was sure Petra only saw Erwin Smith as the cause of her turmoil.

Her next words made him sure of that,"It wouldn't have worked.. No matter how long you two..have been..however long this.."

Levi, who was much less collected than his lover, grasped at some semblance of reality,"Why, Petra? If..if Erwin and I were---are---happy together, why?"

 

Petra looked at her shoes, searching for an answer.

 

Finally, she spoke,"Because.. Levi, I.. I fell in love with you."

 

Not but a moment after the words left her lips, Petra departed from the room. Hange jumped up, calling after her,"Petra! Wait! Don't leave!"

 

Eren stood to chase after her, Mike following suit.

Hange had gone, hot on Eren's heels.

 

Before leaving to join the others, Mike said over his shoulder,"Erwin, you may say you don't regret being with Levi, but.. we all knew this would end badly."

 

Levi barely registered the door closing, signaling Mike left.

 

His mind was absent as Erwin embraced him, the man's collected calmness falling apart.

 

The only thought to go through Levi's mind became a chant:

 

What have I done?

 

 

-

 

Fin.


End file.
